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Thanks for the Blog. Many Mormons stick to a small group of friends within the church. You are too young to deal with this. Take what you read with a grain of salt. Reconciling this with the doctrine of temple marriage is trickier. Reading your blog has helped, especially in seeing that these lonely feelings are normal. We have 5 kids and my eldest wants to become a doctor.
If this is the case, she definitely can be reprogrammed and awakened. At best they just try to include you in the community, and at worst you are constantly told that you'll be welcome "when you're ready. I also think that if marriage outside the covenant is a sin, it is not so grave as to be unforgivable. I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. My husband is a 3rd year ENT resident, and we started dating right before he started med school. I really don't know how will I cope up with every matter without him by my side in this new road ahead of me. But you are setting yourself up to leave the Church more easily, and even if you agree the children will be raised Mormon, your kids will likely not continue to participate in the Church as adults. Interestingly, my parents felt the same way about him. Does he have a faith similarly conversion-focused as I could see that being a challenge. You should expect that this will define your relationship with her.